After Darkness I Hope For The Light
by Shattered Faith
Summary: When Sirius Black makes a decision, Harry Potter's Fate changes drastically. Challenge fic, chapter one.


Silence. Silence was all that surrounded him in his final moments as he slowly drifted off into his everlasting slumber. Five years he had rotted in the darkest of holes, surrounded by a hollow emptiness and the howls of the damned, five years he had held on to the one memory that they could not take: That he himself knew he was innocent of the crimes that had landed him in Abyss itself.

He had tried to be strong, to cling to the shred of sanity that remained within his chaotic and frayed mind, but faith alone cannot sustain a man forever, and so he drifted between realms, the world of the living becoming an ever more growing silhouette as the days, weeks, months and years passed and he slowly, but surely, entered the embrace of Morpheus one final time.

" ' _When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.'_ It was an honourable man who spoke those words and a braver man still to have lived by them when I came for him." The voice was that of a woman's which appeared to be coming from all directions in the Nothingness, "Cast off your doubts and worries, for you are going home to the family not of blood, but of choice."

The Voice went quiet, and he was once again left alone in the silence of the Nothingness, or so he guessed, he understood that The Voice could still be lingering wherever it was nearby. He had grown accustomed to bouts of lucid thought while he danced across the line of life and death, but this time it was the first that something else had visited during his crossings. Her words echoed in his mind, but try as he might, he knew he could not fully do as The Voice had commanded, he had failed in his most important of duties and no amount of advice from disembodied voices would change that. How could The Voice speak of family and home when he deserved neither? When all that awaited him was the Abyss for his sins.

He hoped Amelia could handle raising two children while working as an auror, and that the career she loved would not suffer because of his brashness. He had seen how she was with Susan in the few months after Fergus and Evelyn's deaths, when they had both visited the Potter's residence, and knew she would be a great mother figure for the grieving baby girl, and now young Harry as well. He remembered when Lily had surprised Amelia, Little Harry in her arms, and asked her to take Evelyn's role as caretaker if anything were to happen to them, Sirius and Alice. Suddenly, a thought struck him and seemed to reverberate throughout the Nothingness: Harry would no longer be that little baby he had handed over to Hagrid and neither would Susan be that little bundle of red hair and chubby cheeks, he wondered if Harry looked any more like James or if he had taken on more of Lily's features, he hoped Harry would grow up to have Lily's compassion and James' ability to always laugh and smile no matter the situation. Yes, Amelia would be a far better parental figure than he could ever have been.

In his musings Sirius Black did not notice the familiar comfort of the Nothingness shift into the familiarity that was the Gryffindor Common Room, nor that he was seated in the old and ratty armchair he had claimed as his own before the fireplace. Gone were the rags of Azkaban, replaced with Silver and black Acromantulan silk dress robes; his hair, long that it was, had been pulled back into a neat ponytail.

The fire was dying giving an ember glow to illuminate what it could of the Common Room in contrast to the starless night that entered through the windows gradually smothering all it encompassed in the darkness. Sirius Black did not fear the darkness, for he knew what was on the other side and welcomed it with only a small sense of trepidation. After all, Lily Potter was most likely on the other side ready to give him an earful for running off after Peter as he had and only one person scared Sirius Black more than Lily Potter and that was an angry Professor McGonagall.

"Oh? And how 'bout that time I caught you trying to read my diary in Third Year?" Questioned a lithe and mischievous voice, "Hmm? You wouldn't come anywhere near me for a week." This voice, that Sirius knew intimately well, almost startled him fully to the darkness's embrace, and he chided himself on not realising that if anyone were to be his shepherd to the other side it would be she who held his heart.

She stood just to the side, her copper red hair frazzled and splayed around her face, just like the last time he had seen her at the end of their Sixth Year of Hogwarts, before she disappeared. She looked older now, and was no longer adorned in the colours of her house Hufflepuff, rather she wore robes that complemented his own.

Sirius surged forward and pulled the woman into a tight embrace, the top of her head fitting perfectly under his chin as joyful tears rolled down his cheeks. Her arms came up to wrap around his waist and she nuzzled contently against his chest. They stood there wrapped up in each other in what seemed to Sirius an eternity, but even for him it was cut too short as she pulled from their embrace ever so slightly to look up at his tear-stained face. He was crying freely now, not a care in the world, and for that single moment all of his doubts and worries had been washed away and replaced by a resurgence of the love he felt for his Soulmate wrapped in his arms.

"Oh Siri, I have waited a long time for this" she sighed contently.

Sirius, being Sirius, had to ruin it however, "What? Me being dead? Lonely without little ol' me, were you, Mallory?"

"You're not dead yet, you know." Mallory's smile was bittersweet and morose, "Lady Death does not fully have you in her grasp yet, and there is still time enough left for you to awaken in the Land of the Living." She gave the smouldering embers of the fireplace a sorrowful look.

"Huh?" Sirius' gaze followed that of Mallory's before understanding dawned upon him, "I guess we'll just have to douse the fire, speed up things a bit. I'm ready for whatever punishment I deserve."

Mallory laughed joyfully and pulled Sirius down for a brief kiss, "You and your Gryffindor courage," before fixing him with a stern look, as close to Professor McGonagall as she could, "And why do you believe you deserve any sort of punishment beyond the years you unjustly spent in Azkaban?"

Sirius' face took on a forlorn look, reflecting the years he had spent in a cell at Azkaban, "Peter's still out there, Mallory! I failed to avenge Prongs and Lily, and worst of all I let Harry down. I was supposed to look after him if anything happened and what did I do? Fob him off to Hagrid so I could hunt down a bloody rat."

"Well yes, what you did was idiotic and selfish, but even if you had stayed Harry would have still been taken from you, Dumbledore would have seen to it." Mallory's words while harsh were filled with love and understanding. She couldn't possibly completely blame Sirius for his actions after finding his family all but destroyed.

"Wha? What? Why would he? Dumbledore… wouldn't. Would he?" But after five years of Azkaban without ever hearing from the man who had cast the Fidelius Charm and knew Sirius to be innocent, his words were hollow even to himself.

"The Potters died the night of the Thirty-first of October" began Mallory, "Harry was dropped off at the Dursley's doorstep the Night of the First of November" Sirius' face took on a look of horror at the mention of Lily's sister's family. "You were arrested just after midday of the Second, and Frank and Alice were tortured into insanity by the Lestranges and Crouch Jr. the morning of the Fifth of December, a month after your arrest." Seeing the look of distress on Sirius she pulled him in for another hug, "Even before your arrest and everyone thinking you were a traitor Dumbledore had already secreted Harry away to the Dursley's, against the express instructions of Lily and James. Even if you were the traitor everyone believed you to be," he stiffens slightly at the thought, "Harry should have been brought to Alice and with him there, who knows, the Longbottoms might not have been caught off guard, never mind that even after their incapacitation Harry would have then went to Amelia. In no situation was Harry ever to end up with Lily's non-magical family."

"I'll kill him" declared Sirius, "Lily told stories about her sister while in the Order, Dumbledore knew how much she loathed Lily for having magic. He… he even told her how sad it was when families turned on their own because of things they can't control. That… That Bastard, I'll wring him by his bloody beard. Send my godson to the Dursley's will he! There's a better chance of me friending Snivellus than letting this stand!" Sirius roared in indignation causing Mallory to smile.

"Good" She said simply, "And if you mean it, and I know you do, you have two options ahead of you, thanks to Lady Death. And know whatever one you choose both I and Lily and James are behind you."

Face filled with determination, Sirius sat down on the Common Room couch, followed by Mallory, "What are my options." All traces of the fun loving Sirius gone, replaced with a serious Sirius.

Taking his hands in hers she laid out his options, "As I said before you're not dead yet, you're just in between right now, and this will be your final time whichever decision."

Nodding in understanding Sirius beckoned Mallory to continue.

"You could go back to the Living. Knowing now that Harry is with the Dursley's in a few years' time you would have gathered the strength to attempt to escape Azkaban and locate him, but doing so means leaving Harry where he is for now and who knows if you can make it past successfully all those Dementors. Even if I can give you Peter's location, it could be of little use."

Sirius shakes his head, "No, I can't leave Harry there any longer who knows what they've done to him the past five years. And you're right there's a lot that could go wrong: The Dementors, getting off the island, evading capture, the hit wizards and aurors, what'll happen when Dumbledore hears of my escape or Peter. No, there has to be another, better way, I can't let Harry's future be left to chance."

Running her thumbs along the back of his hands, Mallory leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss, barely brushing their lips together. "You're second option is to do nothing, let the embers die and join your family in the Beyond."

Pulling his hands back Sirius gave Mallory a scathing look of disbelief, "And how will that help Harry? How would I look Prongs or Lily in the eye and say I took the cowards way out and left their son at the hands of the Dursley's?"

"You wouldn't Siri, I promise." Retorted Mallory, "Think for a moment, you're dead, the Lord of House Black and all associated honours, what'll happen next?"

"My will reading, it's still the same since before Prongs and Lily went into hiding." His eyes lit up with confusion, "There's not much in it, some things for Remus – that'll be held in trust, there's no way he'll go to my reading thinking I'm the traitor," Sirius sighed wearily thinking on what Remus' life must be like without his family to surround him, "Some few last dig at Voldemort's side and their belief in blood purity and the passing of all my possessions, titles, et cetera to Prongs, seeing as he's my cousin and some such through his mother Dorea Potter née Black," he sits up a little straighter, having finally putting everything together, "Which now passes to Harry. Cousins Domeda, and Cissy; if the rumours are true; won't stop until they find their new Lord Black, well, rather Potter-Black. Black-Potter? Dumbledore can't interfere in House matters once Harry's status as heir comes to be known without stepping on the toes of most of the Wizengamot's members and tradition," Sirius began to laugh delighted in such a situation, "It'll be the perfect prank, it's brilliant. It'll rescue Harry and piss off a lot of the stuck up elite."

His laughter soon became contagious as Mallory joined in, only to be picked up and twirled by Sirius. They continued to dance to their own tune for a time until Sirius came to an abrupt stop.

"Wait" The confusion was back, "You said Death itself was giving me the option of which way to cross," Mallory nodded in confirmation, "I can only ask why though? What makes me so special beyond the usual?"

Mallory let out a soft giggle at his antics, "She's not interested in you, Siri. Rather, Lady Death is more concerned about Harry, you were – are, the easiest access, being surrounded by Dementors and balancing in between."

With a gleeful in his eyes he asked, "Harry not a bit too young for her, or her too old for him?"

Mallory smacked him playfully in the chest, "Stop, you're incorrigible -"

"And you love it" Sirius teased.

"Yes, yes I do and I don't know why" Shaking her head, she returned to his original question, "Lady Death and others, Lily and James included, seem to have Harry's welfare as their number one priority currently, however, being in the Beyond puts a stop on most of what we wish we could do."

"Still doesn't really explain why Death's helping" Sulked Sirius, not liking not having Lady Death's reasons for her interest in his godson.

"Oh, shush you" she pushed him away and took the few steps to the fireplace, "The quicker these go out, the sooner you get to see your family and get your answers. More importantly, the sooner Harry is removed from the Dursley's."

Without further prompting, and with meaningful strides Sirius marched over the fireplace. Without even a glimpse of hesitation he snuffed the embers and the Common Room was plunged into darkness.

He had always wondered how his life would end: If it would be of old age, as he gently faded away in his sleep or would he die in the heat of battle, a hero's death giving his life to save another, and in the end, Sirius mused, it appeared to be a mix of the two, while he knew he was not physically old, after all he had suffered and endured in his lifetime, his soul felt heavy with age, and so, on the floor of his cell in Azkaban, he felt it lighten tremendously as he knew his final sacrifice would do in death, what he could not do in life. After all, the life of one old man, he thought, was worth the future of any child.

"Welcome home, Padfoot."


End file.
